Ouch.

Wow, what a feeling it is to have someone say something about you to your face that is true but hurts all the same. It may have been in jest at the time but it really wasn't just a joke. A lot of the time we say how we really feel when we disguise it like something meant to make other people laugh. "Everything drives you crazy. I'm surprised you're not crazy yet." I complain so much about things, however tiny they are, that the people I care about have come to find it something worth poking at it. I don't feel like a negative person and I've tried so hard to embrace positivity and gratitude but am I failing in that task? Am I still just the same old me just pretending to live with new perspective? I'm too sensitive at times, I think. I haven't let those few words shake off of me since lunch time and I have a feeling they're going to linger around for a little while longer. It was frustrating to have the weight sit on my shoulders while I ate and put on my best smile in place of the real smile that belonged at lunch today. It wasn't that I was faking it but I was digesting, thinking and trying to figure out what that really meant and how annoying I must really be. It's a tough thing to hear someome you value and appreciate point out the things inside of you that may be seen by everyone else as a burden. I'm not sure what to do with it but here it is.