Attention: Ladies of Seattle (or people who know ladies of Seattle)!

The Seattle chapter of That Girl Goes Local (via I Am That Girl) is officially OFF AND RUNNING!

Come join us. Send your friends to come join us. Let's make an amazing ripple in this community. Let's take those baby steps in changing the world as we know it.

We're on Facebook!

I just need to find the courage to see it through.

"Your intuition is always right, please listen and trust it."

Self check-in on being committed.

1. I Will Be Present, Be Love, Be Positive and Be Grateful: I am still trying so hard to make this one part of my every day. I find it so easy to post to my gratitude log, ask my daughter what she's grateful for and generally keep this part of my every day when I am at home. I struggle so much to do this at work. I struggle to be present in the moment when I just want to be "anywhere but here". I struggle to be love and be accepting of people who really just make my life a living hell. Work is the place that seems to be killing this resolution and right now I am in a huge self-reflection pool of trying to figure out what's best for me.

2. I Will Commit To Getting Fit: I'm trying so hard! This week I slacked off on the Wii workout. Since my parents have been home I've found it harder to do. Having an audience there while I'm doing my yoga is weird but I know I need to make a better effort at making it happen. I bought another hula hoop so when the nice weather comes on we can take a friend and hit the park. It'll be so much more fun (and hopefully more frequent!) doing it that way.

3. I Will Consider What I'm Eating: Another struggle I've had since my parents got home. This week I had turkey twice (sandwiches), chicken twice (Pho and Mexican) and tuna fish. I also had shrimp, steak and chicken at The Melting Pot last night. The vegetarian gig will be going back in full effect tomorrow. I feel BETTER when I am not eating meat. I want to get myself to a place of no dairy (though I am already there for the most part). I am holding myself accountable to this one, above all others. Just because mom and dad are home and making their own food doesn't mean I can't retain control over what I need.

4. I Will Get Rid of Plastic Bottles: Going strong! I haven't taken a drink from a plastic bottle since January began. My Kleen Kanteen goes everywhere with me!

5. I Will Be Passion: I'm still rocking the Project 365 but need to read my digital camera book, start working on the DIY projects and really just get out there with my camera to do more than just take my one photograph per day. I'm starting up my That Girl Goes Local group and I've got women who are so excited to be part of it. I'm so inspired on the regular.

6. I Will Travel: Heidi and I about to book our New York trip for May. I've been looking at good hotel/hostel/vacation home rental options. I'm also planning to take a trip to San Diego in July. Wahoo travel!

7. I Will Be On My Own: Move out date is 6 months, 7 days. I've started looking at apartment rates in the Fremont/Ballard/Wallingford areas. But to be honest? I'm also considering the strong chance that we may MOVE. Perhaps it's just a pipe dream but right now I have such a strong urge to be down in San Diego, hooping on the beach and finding myself part of the amazing community that I know exists there. It compels me and pulls me and sings to my heart. We'll see. Right now I'm still focused so hard on making this place have the kind of community I can be proud of.

8. I Will Read More and Twiddle Less: As I said last time I've finished Food Rules and started on Fast Food Nation. I'm also reading The Hour I First Believed by Wally Lamb and find myself reading it more often because it's so convenient on my Kindle app. The paper book seems to be a little more difficult to commit to, which actually really annoys me more than I can say. I'm determined to finish another book this month. I am definitely not reading as much as I would like. I can feel that on most nights. Too much twiddling!

Cross your fingers and think positive for me!

Tonight I finally finished perfecting my application to start my local chapter of I Am That Girl! I think I've got ten ladies on board and once we scout out a good location this weekend, everything might actually be in place. I'm equal parts nervous and excited! This is the biggest thing I've ever tried to take on personally. I may plan million dollar events for 300+ people but at the end of the day, it's not me who floats those things. It's the corporation's face that is held accountable for whatever is being measured. This time it's me. While there's x amount of girls who are there to be part of it, I'm the one who pushed the ball down the lane! Gutterball or a strike? I'm going big! This new chapter of my life is so exciting. I've lost eleven pounds, I've been doing yoga at least 5 days a week and I'm just FEELING these positive vibes flowing. What's next, world? Bring it on!

Into the third week, new struggles.

I'm still plugging away at my resolutions but this second week has been the roughest one. Keeping positive is really hard when I am surrounded by a work environment that has so many challenges and negative ways of thinking that it's hard to keep my head up and my smile on. I've been thinking a lot about what I want to do with my "career" and what would make me happy. It's this weird balance between trying to sort out what would monetarily satisfy versus what would personally satisfy. If I could take pictures and write all day, I would, but that's not going to keep a roof over our head or food on the table. I'm not sure what's going to happen but I have to believe that doors will open to me without my planning for it. The universe will provide.

I've done pretty good on my eating and working out. I have had a couple of slips this week. Went two nights without working out. One night I just didn't feel like it and last night I fell asleep at 7:30 and never had the time to exercise. I feel the guilt fro it and today need to kick it in high gear. As far as food goes, I'm feeling the limitations of a vegetarian diet and can't even fathom how it will feel when I switch to vegan and eventually raw. I know that if I played with more recipes and spent more time in the kitchen this wouldn't be an issue but I've always been such a picky eater so it makes me nervous. Time to stop that, right? I did have some chicken this week - in my Pho at work. I'm trying! Bumps in the road.

My photography is suffering. I'm so glad I didn't spend more than I did on my camera. I don't want it to be a fleeting passion but I'm finding myself without the inspiration to take photographs. When I sit in the same living room and the same office every day my subjects become so limited. I know I need to sit down with my how-to book and force myself out on these weekends to start exploring the world through my lens. I think when Mom and Dad are back I'll be more inclined to want to head out on the weekends. We've become very accustomed to having this house to ourselves and in this last week/weekend before their return I've definitely found myself just wanting to sit and enjoy the quiet while I can. I should be out having fun but hopefully that will come when they come back. I need to force myself to use this camera more. I need to use my Vitamix more, too. These are the BIG ticket items I got myself for Christmas and right now I am not owning up to their pricetags.

I think I'm just feeling kind of dumpy lately and I need to shake out of it. I'm romantically lonely after 3 years on my own. For the longest time I didn't want it and now I don't know how to find it. But I know I'm not supposed to be looking. These things are supposed to just happen. I have to believe it will. I'm so inspired to make changes in this world but find that this inherent laziness that I've accumulated over however-many years has made it tough to do. I'd rather sit on the sofa than go out and do anything. It's easier to loaf around online than to immerse myself in the world. In my head and my heart there is a distinctly different person begging to be let out. I just need to get off my ass and make it happen. My passion for this That Girl Goes Local chapter of I Am That Girl is so strong but I find myself discouraged by lack of reply from the women in my life who expressed interest or by my frustration in trying to figure out where we can meet that doesn't impose on anyone but also encourages the communication and discussions we'll be having. I want this so bad and I'm breaking my back to make it happen. I just hope it does. Nothing would make me happier right now.

I know that when I write these blogs I'm talking to myself and sometimes that's discouraging in and of itself. Sometimes you need some kind words or some encouragement or another swift kick in the ass but right now I feel like I'm talking to air. I feel that way a lot in life lately. When I want to go OUT and do something on a whim I don't know who to call. I miss having that circle that's always there. I feel kind of own my own in a way that's not empowering or encouraging. My patience is so limited right now. It's ridiculous. I want to Be Love, Be Present and Be Positive. It's just harder to do sometimes than others...

Reminders.

Movers and shakers.

I'm really excited at the prospect of starting up a that girl goes local chapter of i am that girl here in Seattle. I have totally gotten on fire about the prospect of doing this but I can't seem to find many others who feel that way. The idea of having a group of strong women who support each other without catty pretense or games, who can also do amazing things in our community, is just something that appeals to me on such a grand scale.

To apply to lead this local chapter I need nine other local women who are on board to be part of a group that meets weekly to discuss women's issues and to volunteer once a month to work on a project that helps to raise awareness for women's issues. So far I've only got two other women who have told me that they would be interested. This just isn't enough and it's so disappointing to me. I don't know where else to reach out to beyond all of the women I know on facebook.

I'm admittedly feeling pretty defeated about it tonight and am trying to find a way to feel re-energized. If anyone in the Seattle area happens to stumble on this and is interested, please, please shoot me an email at jenandseek (at) gmail (dot) com. I'd love to have anyone join us!

The first week.

This week has been awesome. I just wanted to do a little check-in with myself on where I stand on my commitments:

#1: I do tend to struggle with trying to stay positive all day because some of my pessimistic moments keep trying to shine through. Today I made a silly remark about the ledge giving way and my friend said, "You always expect the worse." I need to fix that! I don't want that being the way I'm viewed. Every morning I've sat down with my gratitude log and thought of what I was grateful for. Every morning I ask my six year old what she's grateful for. We're doing our best! I've just got to keep trying.

#2: I have done my Wii fit every night except one. I do all of the yoga poses, a couple of strength exercises, hula hooping, step aerobics, boxing and sometimes a couple of the balance games, too. Right now my workout is between 20-30 minutes and I'm huffing, puffing and shaky by the end but I'm not going to stop. I feel the stretch in my muscles and it is awesome! I've improved my score on every exercise so much already.

#3: I realized that trying to jump into a vegan raw food base was biting off more than I could chew. I need to ease my way into it. I've attempted to eat only vegetarian this week and have done really good at keeping up with that, aside from some salmon that I had. Today was really great. So far I'm most proud of how I worked it out today. I've only drank water. For breakfast I had some organic grapes and a banana. For lunch I had an AMAZING spinach, mozzarella and feta cheese crepe. I fell off the wagon a little with dinner - chicken flavored Top Ramen. I need to fit more food into our house that aligns with my goals. I've done awesome at keeping the unnatural sugars out of my diet. One slip with a chocolate chip cookie. I feel pretty awesome about how much I've been able to do. I'll probably do one more week of a vegetarian base and then try to ease into the vegan part of things. I'm pumping fruits and veggies into me though and I do feel pretty awesome.

#4: Aside from the last flavored water I've got on my nightstand that I'm working on finishing, I have obliterated plastic bottles from my day. I used to drink plastic water bottles every night and would use multiple compostible cups in a day to drink water at work. Last weekend I picked up my Kleen Kanteen and have used it all day, every day. And I love it. The water tastes so much better out of stainless steel than it does in a plastic bottle.

#5: The camera love is through the roof. I've started a Project 365 and have kept up with it every day. I'm finding it fun to take artsy pictures or capture the things I might not have thought to before. Having a camera back in my life is so awesome. Tonight my accessories I splurged on came in the mail. I've got the bowling bag camera case, DIY book, the seatbelt camera strap, the filters for my iPhone and I even bought a "how-to" digital camera book so that I can better maneuver how to use this thing without spending the cash on a class. I'm really, really enjoying my camera and hope this will last past just some random new year's urge. It would be awesome to get so into something that maybe it could become more than a hobby in the future.

#6: Nothing has come of my travel commitment yet but Heidi and I need to start planning!

#7: Still on track for moving out in August. I refuse to get deterred.

#8: Trying to take on a new way of eating and living has definitely opened doors to so many books I want to read. I have already finished one book! Michael Pollan's Food Rules was an awesome read and I'm already starting to try to adapt his rules into the decisions I make on things that have labels. Such a great book. I'm still working on Fast Food Nation, too. Tonight Pollan's other book, The Omnivore's Dilemma, came and I plan to start that when I finish FFN. I definitely find that I seem to read more often/easier when I buy an ebook so I can do it from my bed on my iPhone but I can't seem to bring myself to want to move exclusively to this format. I love having a TRUE book in my hands too much, even though I find it harder to force myself to make the time to curl up with one.

So that's where I sit with my commitments. I hope you've been managing to pull yours off, too!

Yes. This.

Oy, my checkbook!

Making big changes in your life is costly! I have borrowed a bunch of money from myself and it's making my head hurt to think about. I know that I need to stop thinking about it and just embrace the fact that every penny I have spent has gone toward something positive in my life. Every dollar I've shelled out has either been for Christmas presents for my daughter, to support my new hobby or to promote my healthy way of eating. It's just tough when those things all add up to a lot of cash.

I am making this post as a promise to myself to let go and let live. Everything will work itself out. I'm not hurting for money and need to let go of the expectation I've made up that I need a certain dollar amount in my savings account when I move out. I'll have more than enough. I need to live without worry. Sometimes I just need to remind myself of that.