I was concerned that I may not be able to follow through with my determined attitude of positivity at work today. I knew that I wanted to be able to dismiss the negative feelings and find how to embrace the up-side. I knew that if I could put my best foot forward at all times that hopefully the people around me would have no choice but to do the same. Even if they couldn't, I would know that I did what I could in that moment to make the most of it.
I am so happy with how it turned out! I spent last night telling myself that I would continue to convince myself on Monday that I could do this but I woke up knowing that I didn't need convincing. A good attitude carried me through the morning and some great music accompanied me on the ride to work, which only further propelled that attitude. When I got to the office I immediately set to making that environment what I needed it to be in order for me to see the good in the day. It was so much easier than I thought it would be.
There was a moment today when I broke down in tears. I have been so emotionally charged in this last week that meeting with my manager's manager and discussing those things that have so negatively impacted my job took me over and it was hard to hold back. He seemed understanding of the situation and was incredibly supportive in hearing what I needed to put on the table. Rather than spend the time dwelling on the person that has given me endless grief, I chose to focus on how I am trying to spin it positive and what I'm doing to put my best self into having to work with him. It felt good to be able to be completely honest about those things that are hard but to also own up to doing all that I can to make it work for the best. This is what I am aiming to do in all dealings at my work. I can't change anyone else and I can't force anyone else to come to the table with an open mind and mutual respect but I can give that. I will give that.
I've been thinking so much about where Mia and I will live when the end of the summer rolls around. It has always been in our plan that the summer of 2010 would be when we finally broke out on our own and that is coming on so quickly! I am being drawn more and more to certain neighborhoods in Seattle and with that comes new challenges that I've never had before. My parents will not be nearby to just take her when I need to be to work early on event days (about 15 or so days per year). I have been worried that I would need to find a new job that doesn't have these quirks or that we'd need to stay in neighborhoods that I don't want to live just to have that super close proximity to my mom and dad. Being worried about this has been weighing me down and making me feel like I'd have to make sacrifices in our happiness just for a tiny fraction of a year. Amazing things happen when you share these sorts of fears with people who truly have your best interests in mind! I opened up to my manager and she told me that I need to embrace what I want and not back down on that because of job concerns. She not only told me that we will find a way to make those days work but even provided me some resources and contacts for affordable living in one of those neighborhoods! She's encouraging of my living in one of these communities so that I can make that network and community that I so terribly crave. These things will come together, she told me. Mia and I can do this on our own and don't need to live within a few blocks of my parents or anyone else to make it work out.
I'm feeling so good about my day and the way that I was able to see my attempts at positivity pay off. They didn't even feel like attempts. It was so natural and I am going to try to keep this momentum going. I was able to see the incredible result of putting out my hand for help and being rewarded in support that I didn't know I had. This is something else. I cannot wait to see what this year has in store for me.
I am so happy with how it turned out! I spent last night telling myself that I would continue to convince myself on Monday that I could do this but I woke up knowing that I didn't need convincing. A good attitude carried me through the morning and some great music accompanied me on the ride to work, which only further propelled that attitude. When I got to the office I immediately set to making that environment what I needed it to be in order for me to see the good in the day. It was so much easier than I thought it would be.
There was a moment today when I broke down in tears. I have been so emotionally charged in this last week that meeting with my manager's manager and discussing those things that have so negatively impacted my job took me over and it was hard to hold back. He seemed understanding of the situation and was incredibly supportive in hearing what I needed to put on the table. Rather than spend the time dwelling on the person that has given me endless grief, I chose to focus on how I am trying to spin it positive and what I'm doing to put my best self into having to work with him. It felt good to be able to be completely honest about those things that are hard but to also own up to doing all that I can to make it work for the best. This is what I am aiming to do in all dealings at my work. I can't change anyone else and I can't force anyone else to come to the table with an open mind and mutual respect but I can give that. I will give that.
I've been thinking so much about where Mia and I will live when the end of the summer rolls around. It has always been in our plan that the summer of 2010 would be when we finally broke out on our own and that is coming on so quickly! I am being drawn more and more to certain neighborhoods in Seattle and with that comes new challenges that I've never had before. My parents will not be nearby to just take her when I need to be to work early on event days (about 15 or so days per year). I have been worried that I would need to find a new job that doesn't have these quirks or that we'd need to stay in neighborhoods that I don't want to live just to have that super close proximity to my mom and dad. Being worried about this has been weighing me down and making me feel like I'd have to make sacrifices in our happiness just for a tiny fraction of a year. Amazing things happen when you share these sorts of fears with people who truly have your best interests in mind! I opened up to my manager and she told me that I need to embrace what I want and not back down on that because of job concerns. She not only told me that we will find a way to make those days work but even provided me some resources and contacts for affordable living in one of those neighborhoods! She's encouraging of my living in one of these communities so that I can make that network and community that I so terribly crave. These things will come together, she told me. Mia and I can do this on our own and don't need to live within a few blocks of my parents or anyone else to make it work out.
I'm feeling so good about my day and the way that I was able to see my attempts at positivity pay off. They didn't even feel like attempts. It was so natural and I am going to try to keep this momentum going. I was able to see the incredible result of putting out my hand for help and being rewarded in support that I didn't know I had. This is something else. I cannot wait to see what this year has in store for me.
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